How to Tell If That Happy Hour Is Actually a Bargain

There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t ever consider having dinner before 5 p.m. My dinner time always happened past 9 p.m. and I can recall many a meal consumed well after my closing shift at a restaurant, eating full-on fried chicken and mashed potatoes at midnight. Now, an early dinner is my favorite thing. Eating before the sun sets satiates my hunger and my soul. I may as well be watching reruns of Murder, She Wrote and passing out Werther’s Originals to the young folks. And my favorite early meal is happy hour. 

Happy hour is when the menu prices are reduced as an incentive to encourage customers to come into a restaurant at an otherwise unpopular time. It’s to fill that gap after lunch and before dinner. Two dollars off a cocktail attracts me like a moth to a flame and when there’s also food on the happy hour menu, it’s like discovering the holy grail is filled with a spicy Margarita and it comes with guacamole and chips. I can easily make a meal out of the “light bites” on a happy hour menu, but there’s one thing that’s always disappointing when it comes to certain happy hour menus: when the serving size is markedly different from the regular price. 

Is happy hour really a bargain or is it a bait and switch?

If the portions are smaller than normal, then of course the price would be less, but if it’s a lower price for a smaller portion, is that really a happy hour? Happy hour is supposed to be a lure, not a bait and switch.

I recently went somewhere that had hummus on the happy hour menu. Having had the hummus appetizer before, I was familiar with how it was normally served. The regular appetizer portion was a good amount of creamy, delicious hummus with plenty of pita chips, carrots, and celery. Seeing that it was $3 less on the happy hour menu I thought it was a great deal. When it showed up to the table, the ramekin was smaller than normal with no veggies and just a handful of pita chips, not nearly enough to eat all of the hummus unless the expectation was to pile a ridiculous amount of hummus onto each chip. “Fine,” I thought. “It’s happy hour.” 

Beware the secret upsell at happy hour

When the pita chips were gone, I asked if I could have a few more to finish the hummus. The only option was to order an additional side of chips, which cost almost as much as the happy hour portion of hummus. The server then explained to me that the happy hour hummus was much smaller than the regular hummus. Essentially, the happy hour hummus wasn’t a deal. It was a smaller portion, so it was less expensive. In my mind, that’s not what happy hour is. 

At another restaurant, I once ordered a happy hour frozen Margarita. After happy hour was over, I decided to have another one, paying full price. The glass it showed up in was bigger than what I had before. Again, it isn’t really a happy hour deal unless you’re paying less for the same thing. It’s not that different from a store raising the price of something 15% so the next day they can put it on sale for 10% off. Call me old school, or just call me old, but I really want my happy hour portions to be the same as the regular portions, just at a discounted price. I mean, I’m eating at 4:30 and if I wasn’t there, wouldn’t the restaurant be empty? 

I’ll still go to happy hour, but I reserve the right to be grumpy

I realize that being slightly perturbed by one less cheeseburger egg roll or a smaller Martini glass is a champagne problem to have. Eating out at a restaurant is a privilege, no matter what time of day it is. I should just accept that happy hour portions may or may not be a great deal and be grateful they exist at all. I’ll continue to be that person sitting at the bar at 4:30 nibbling on happy hour bar snacks to make a meal so I can get home in time to watch the new Matlock and be in bed at a reasonable hour.