How Much Are You Expected to Tip This Holiday Season? The Answer May Not Be What You Think

Tipping fatigue is real. Everywhere we go we’re expected to leave a tip. From delis to fast food restaurants and from dry cleaners to grocery stores, we’re greeted with a cup telling us how much tips are appreciated. It is standard behavior to have a screen flipped in our direction so we can choose how much money to leave for someone who so far as we can tell, did very little for us. 

Full-service restaurants are different. The people being tipped in those jobs are usually making far below the minimum wage and depend on the tips as their salary. The tips are claimed as income and are taxed, unlike so many others who plop a jar onto the counter at work and then could pocket the money, tax-free. 

As the holidays approach and we find ourselves having to stretch our dollars even further, people might wonder how much they should tip their restaurant server when they go out during this season. The answer is simple: the same as they always have.

Every server would appreciate a bigger tip during the holidays, but most of them are not expecting it. If you’re a regular at the restaurant and have the same staff every time you go, it might make sense to provide a “holiday bonus,” but no one who works in a restaurant is counting on that. Clark Griswold was expecting a Christmas bonus in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation large enough to pay for an in-ground swimming pool, but ended up with a Jelly of the Month club membership. Servers aren’t expecting anything extra during the holidays so they would probably be thrilled with a year’s supply of jams and jellies. 

I think of one of my regulars, Naomi, who never failed to tip all of us in the restaurant during this time of year. It would always be a random dollar amount, like she knew how much she could afford to give, and then divided it by however many people were working in the restaurant that year. One year my Christmas tip from Naomi was $7.50 but it felt like a million dollars to me because I knew how much she appreciated us.

What servers don’t want to see this time of year is a less than standard tip along with an explanation in the tip line that says something like, “Sorry, I have to buy Christmas presents for my kids” or “I’m broke this time of year.” Here’s the deal: Your waitress might also have kids they’d like to buy presents for, or the waiter who made sure your club sandwich with 10 modifications came out exactly as you wanted might be broke, too, and was planning on spending the tip you gave him on something as frivolous as rent. 

If you find yourself in a restaurant on the actual holiday, it would be nice to boost the tip slightly. After all, the people who are serving in a restaurant on a holiday are giving up their holiday in order for you to dine out. Doesn’t that warrant some kind of recognition? You don’t have to leave a 100% tip, but at least throw in a few extra dollars and make sure the restaurant staff knows how much you appreciate them being open. Some restaurants are closed on holidays, and good for them! The ones that stay open deserve respect from the people who eat there. 

The holidays can be a challenging time. Lots of people struggle with loneliness or depression or a sense of being overwhelmed, and going to a restaurant can provide a respite for all of that. If you find that your server is adding to the merriment of the season, please make sure they know the difference they are making. But also know that most servers are not expecting extra just because they’re at work. They’re expecting the same tip they would receive on the 25th day of any other month of the year. Twenty percent is a wonderful tip no matter the season.